8 REALSITC Tips: How to Make A Long Distance Relationship Last
Are you ready to learn how to make a long distance relationship last?
If you’re reading this and you are in a long distance relationship, my best piece of advice is to keep going. Keep pushing. Keep loving each other. Make the choice to show up daily. Not only for your partner but for yourself.
Let’s be real. Long distance relationships are not for everybody that can truly be for ANYBODY. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for over 4 years and I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to experience this at such a time as this to not only better myself and relationship, but share these AMAZING tips with you all!
Before you can include your partner in this conversation, have this conversation with yourself. Is being in a long distance relationship something you truly want? If so, here are the things you NEED to make sure it last.
This post is all about how to make a long distance relationship last.
1. Stay COMMITTED to personal development
If you don’t take anything away from this post, you have to stay committed to yourself before you can commit to him.
You are a person before he came into your life meaning that you have to continue to nourish the things that made you perform at your best.
Your life, social life, passions, hobbies, career, don’t stop once you get in a relationship. Keep going!
The best way to staying committed and making your long distance relationship work is by dating yourself.
Take yourself out. Buy yourself the flowers. There’s no need to be reliant on him when you’re a boss babe!
Personal development is the thing that allows you to show up as your beautiful self!
Stay committed to your values and beliefs, communicate that to your partner and be firm with it! If it’s important to you then he will respect that.
2. Comparison will kill your relationship
Focus on the things that work for your relationship. Of course, it’s okay to ask for advice as your navigating this space but once you and your partner have found a routine that works for you, stick to it!
If you’re constantly looking at what other couples are doing, comparing him to other men, comparing your timelines, comparing the things he does for you to other relationships, it’s going to be very hard for him to satisfy you.
Love and appreciate your relationship for what it is. If you don’t like something, lean into those emotions, include your partner in the conversation and make a plan to do something that works for the both of you.
3. Have a solid foundation
We would truly not be where we are in our relationship without God. He is our foundation. He’s the glue that has kept us together. Our love for Him allows us to love each other.
What’s a home without a foundation? Once you lay the foundation, you can continue to build the rest of the house.
It’s the same in a long distance relationship. There’s too much uncertainty in the world for us not to have faith in God.
If the man you are with is the man God wants you to be with, he will indeed lead and guide the both of you.
Don’t overlook small beginnings. Even if the spark isn’t there at first, something tells you to keep going, keep going!
You never may know the type of man God will use to shift your perspectives on relationships.
4. Don’t rush the process
If you’re in a long distance relationship, there’s probably a reason that you are in that position. Whether you are enjoying it or not, enjoy the season you are in.
There’s a lesson to be learned. There’s things you need to learn about yourself. There’s things he needs to learn about himself.
I know it’s hard to be without the one you love, but there’s a bigger message to be seen here.
If you think about it, the months you spend apart gives you (both of you) more time to focus on your career, life, goals, etc. so the next time you see each other you are both in a healthy place.
When you are in a healthy place this helps keep the flame going between the both of you.
5. Plan trips in advance
Planning trips in advance gives you something to look forward to. While my boyfriend and I were in college we tried to plan our trips in coordination with our breaks throughout the semester.
This really helped us stay on track and it challenged us in the best way to work hard towards our goals so that when we saw each other we could enjoy our time together.
We didn’t always have the privilege of doing this, but when we did it lifted a huge weight off of our shoulders!
6. Prioritize date nights
Let me TELL you, when we started making date nights a PRIORITY the game CHANGED.
We had to get a little creative but here are a few ideas
Netflix Party nights
Game nights, we love UNO
We got dressed up and ate our favorite meal like we were on an actual date
Having deep conversations, these nights were amazing!
Relationship discussion prompts cards
My boyfriend purchased these 6 months ago and we do take turns asking each other questions twice a month. It’s great because it makes you think outside of the box and you learn your partner more! You NEED this deck of cards!
As with any relationship you have to prioritize in order for it to grow! The key is to make it fun for the both of you!
7. Have an end goal in mind
This might take a while to know, but try to have an estimated time of when you would like to close the distance and come together.
For example, my boyfriend and I planned to be together after we graduated from college. Although this didn’t happen we are still planning to come together within the next year.
As long as your goal is within reach, realistic for both of your lifestyles and you BOTH are willing to adapt if that doesn’t happen, you’re set!
8. Open communication is a MUST!
When you think open communication you should think raw and vulnerable communications. We always have this saying “when in doubt, overcommunicate”
I don’t know about you, but when you are in a long distance relationship there isn’t that much time to not understand what the other is or isn’t trying to say.
For example, if we are trying to make plans for something we always agree on what works best for us and then circle back at least one more time to make sure we’re on the same page.
It might be annoying, but almost 5 years into our relationship it has SAVED us a TON of headaches.
Once you understand how you communicate and how your partner needs you to communicate, you’re golden!
